Clowning Around
by MissFeral
Summary: Alf gets hooked on a new TV show and copies a few ideas from it...but he's not looking for trouble. He just wants to make somebody laugh.


Alf walked into the living room to show off the clown costume he had just created. He made a baggy jumpsuit out of potato sacks and used squashed berries to make poke-a-dots on it. He made a pointy hat out of paper and used a tomato as his round, red nose.

Willy and Kate were sitting on the couch, holding newspapers in front of their faces.

"Hello, Willy, Kate…How do I look?"

Willy and Kate looked at him.

"What in the world are you wearing?" asked Willy.

"My latest creation," Alf replied, proudly. "It's my clown costume. How do you like it?"

"I don't," Willy said.

"Why are you dressed up like a clown anyway?" asked Kate.

"Do you remember that great new show I've been watching?"

Kate thought for a moment. "Oh, you mean _Clown Day Extravaganza?_ That junk?"

"Yes," Alf said, simply. "It comes on in ten minutes and I wanted to get myself in the mood."

Willy rolled his eyes. "Oh, Alf. That show is so stupid, why the heck do you like it so much?"

"Those are my kind of people, Willy. They act silly, make people laugh…"

"They make messes and break things too," Kate pointed out.

"She's right, Alf," Willy said, calmly. "The clowns on that show are not good role models."

"Okay, okay, they have a few flaws," Alf admitted, "But it's a brand new show. It'll get better as it progresses. Please, can I watch it?"

Willy and Kate looked at each other.

"Do you think we should?" Willy whispered to his wife.

"It will keep him quiet for a while," she said.

Willy sighed and turned to Alf. "Alright, you may watch that stupid show."

"Goody! You should watch it with me, Willy. You'll learn to like it."

"I…have better things to do," Willy replied, picking up his newspaper.

Kate looked closely at Alf's clown costume. "Alf, is that a tomato you're using as a nose?"

"Yes."

"One of the tomatoes I was going to use in the salad for dinner tonight?"

"Uhh…" Alf took the tomato off his nose and held it out to Kate. "Here, you can have it back. I didn't hurt it."

Kate glared at him. "Do you expect me to use the tomato that you had on the end of your nose?"

"Okay, fine! Picky, picky…" Alf turned and went back into the kitchen, taking a bite of the tomato.

 _Later…_

Alf was sitting on the floor in the living room, watching his new favorite show _Clown Day Extravaganza._ He got very intrigued during a scene where the clowns pulled out huge, colorful feathers and started tickling each other. Alf thought this method of making people laugh was _very_ interesting. He wanted to try it out himself.

After the show was over, Alf grabbed Kate's feather duster and crept around the house in search of a victim. He tiptoed upstairs and peeked into the master bedroom. He was happy to find Willy asleep on the bed. _The clowns are going to be proud of me for this,_ the alien thought as he stepped silently into the room.

Willy was lying on his stomach, one arm hanging off the side of the bed. He was covered with a blanket with only his legs sticking out. He was wearing gray socks.

Alf plucked a single feather from the duster. He then used the quill end to swipe down Willy's socked sole, causing his foot to twitch and his toes to curl. Alf swiped the foot again. He got the same reaction. Alf covered his mouth to keep from giggling…he was such a naughty alien!

Then Alf decided to take things up a notch. He placed the end of the feather on Willy's sole and began to drag it up and down slowly…

Willy started giggling in his sleep. His foot twitched wildly and finally, he pulled it away.

Alf noticed that Willy had rolled over onto his back during his squirming. This gave the alien another opportunity to do something very ticklish. He climbed onto the bed slowly and sat beside Willy's sleeping form. He pulled up Willy's shirt and wiggled the feather duster on his bare stomach.

Willy began laughing loudly but he stayed asleep.

"NONONO! HEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEE! KATE STAHAHAHAHAHAP!"

Alf tried not to start laughing himself. "It's not Kate, Willy…"

Then Willy woke up and gasped. "ALF!"

"Surprise!" With that, Alf dropped the feather duster and dug his furry fingers into Willy's exposed stomach.

Willy threw his head back and exploded with hysterical laughter. He tried to curl up in a ball but Alf's fingers still managed to sneak in and tickle the sensitive skin.

"HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! NOOO ALF! STOP! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! C-CUT IT OUT!"

"Those clowns aren't such bad role models, Willy. They really know a thing or two about how to make people happy. And I'm sure making you happy!" With that, Alf lowered his snout to Willy's exposed belly button and blew a big, sloppy raspberry.

"AAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOOOOP! ALF! I'LL MURDER YOU! NO WAIT! NOT ANOTHER RASPBERRY! AAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Willy didn't really want to hurt Alf, but he couldn't control himself. His fist shot out and belted Alf right in the nose, sending the alien soaring across the bedroom.

Willy sat up quickly and put a hand on his chest, trying his regain his composure. He glanced over at Alf, who was lying motionless on the floor where he had landed.

"Hey…Alf? Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

Alf lay still for a few moments, moaning and groaning.

"Come on. Get up…there's nothing wrong with you."

Alf sat up slowly and rubbed his head. "Gosh…they never showed anything that painful on _Clown Day Extravaganza."_

"That's because it's just a show, Alf. It's not real. You should never copy what you see on television because it can be…painful."

"Yeah, so I found out," Alf muttered, still rubbing the back of his head.

"Did you hit your head?"

"Yeah, when you threw me against the wall. I never realized how strong you were until just now."

"I apologize for that, Alf. But you need to learn a lesson here. Never, never do anything like this to me again. Nobody likes to be tickled out of their sleep."

"Sorry. I was just trying to make somebody happy…the way the clowns did on _Clown Day Extravaganza."_

Willy rubbed his forehead. "Alf, what did I just get through telling you?"

"That we should never copy what we see on TV."

"Right."

"Oh well," Alf sighed, "There's a brand new series coming on next week. It's called _Jungle of the Machete Battles._ Maybe it will give me some good ideas…"

"ALF!"

"Just kidding! HA! Gosh, I kill me…"

The End


End file.
